Have you ever started an exercise routine only to think: “What’s the point?”
The cycle of throwing your hat in the ring before giving it a good go is what’s often known as a ‘defeatist mindset’ — and it’s not just you, professional athletes deal with it too.
So, what do you do on those days when you just can’t find the motivation to get moving?
I had a chat with personal trainer and fitness instructor, Megan Waters, and sports psychologist, Emma Slade to get their advice.
It’s helpful to understand your relationship with exercise first
A self-defeating mindset is what sports psychologist Emma Slade describes as “thoughts, behaviours and feelings” that make us feel like our end goal is impossible.
We’re not born with this attitude — internal and external factors help shape this mindset, including our experience with exercise growing up.
“We all have our own lived experience with exercise … If you had a really positive experience around sport and movement, then you’re more likely to seek [out] those opportunities,” Ms Slade says.
Negative experiences can also leave a lasting impact.
“A common example is in P.E. class in high school, where the language or behaviours of others made it a really negative experience where you walked away feeling embarrassed or shamed,” says the Queensland-based psychologist.
“With exercise, there is a big link to our bodies, our ability to move and our body image.”
We see thousands of ads every day and scroll through social media feeds of picture-perfect photos, which can create doubt in our mind.
“People compare themselves and often think, ‘To go to this group fitness place, I need to be X, Y, and Z or I need to wear [certain] clothing and I don’t have those things’, so before we even start, exercise [feels] difficult,” Ms Slade says.
That’s not to say we can’t rewrite the narrative — but it can be difficult.
Where do you start?
To feel “motivated and really fulfilled”, Emma says our goals need to tick three boxes: having autonomy, feeling competent, and being able to connect with other people.
Autonomy is all about having choice — so if you’re just getting back into exercise, it could be trying different activities or shopping around at different fitness centres until you find the right place for you.
It’s also about having the choice to go at your own pace, especially if you’re comparing your progress to previous versions of yourself or other people.
“We [like] routine and order and often apply that to exercise and expect it to be linear but our relationship with exercise is very ebb and flow and [we need] to have more acceptance around that,” Ms Slade says.
Remember, feeling unmotivated isn’t necessarily a bad thing
Listening to your body is not only necessary for recovery but is completely normal when you’re trying to change.
Melbourne-based personal trainer and fitness instructor, Megan Waters, points out it’s all about starting simple.
“It’s just a case of starting somewhere, it could be as simple as stretching in your house and allocating time to move your body for five to 15 minutes [and taking] baby steps to begin with,” says the Warumungu/Yawuru Melbourne based coach.
“Instead of putting pressure on [yourself] at the gym, if the sun is shining, go for a walk and ease back into a routine — and speak kindly to yourself, I’m a really big believer in positive affirmations.”
Leaving the house and heading out to exercise is arguably one of the hardest steps — especially if you’re not feeling it.
But what do you do when you arrive, and you still don’t feel like exercising?
“Maintaining the routine of getting up and going to the gym provides a feedback loop in your brain, that you’re rewiring every time you go,” Ms Slade says.
“But you can also turn up and say, ‘Today I’m only going to be at 50 per cent and that’s OK’.”
Finding your community
Being active with like-minded people will not only keep you accountable, but can help you stay motivated by creating a connection and feeling part of a bigger community.
“If we connect with people we relate to or can relate on other things, [like] training with other mums who have kids under five, we might not relate in regard to exercise but we can relate in that we’re at a similar stage of life,” Ms Slade says.
Making friends as an adult can be challenging, but that’s where group fitness classes can help, Megan says.
“[I’ve seen] so many people come in that haven’t exercised before and they fall in love with the group fitness environment — the positive energy and the fun vibe that the group classes can create,” she says.
Revisiting your goals to make sure they’re ‘process driven’
Outcome-focused goals — like wanting to change how you look — can be the perfect breeding ground for a self-defeating attitude, because they usually conjure up big expectations.
“When we have an outcome goal, it’s usually only motivating for a little bit,” Ms Slade says.
“Because [your goal] is so far down the line, there’s more time for things to get in the way.”
On the other hand, ‘process-driven goals’ focus on the small things you can do each day or week to contribute to your bigger goal — like walking three or four times a week if your end goal is to start running.
By seeing small results, it builds your confidence to keep going.
“It’s about the process and how it makes you feel,” Ms Slade says.
“Even if we don’t actually meet the outcome, we’re no worse off — our health has still probably improved as well as other biomarkers too, like your mental health.”
Setting aside time to reflect
Carving out time for yourself in advance also helps with sticking to your goals.
“Scheduling in time is going to be more beneficial than just going with a whim. [Block out time] in your diary or calendar to move in some way,” Ms Waters says.
She says it’s also important to look after your mind just as much as looking after your body to tackle those self-limiting thoughts.
“Journalling about how you’re feeling or what you want to achieve takes it from outside of your mind, onto a piece of paper and is a really good way of processing things,” she says.
“Write a list of five things that you love about yourself — that make you the legend that you are — and refer back to it when you’re having those lapses in mindset.”
“[Keep] it in your phone or carry it in your wallet and read that to yourself when you’re feeling like you’re not good enough,” Ms Waters says.
This is general information only. For personal advice, you should see a qualified medical practitioner.
Learn more and get inspired by visiting Your Move collections on ABC iview and ABC listen, including exercise playlists from ABC Classic and Double J, or take the ABC Health Check quiz at abc.net.au/yourmove.
ABC Everyday in your inbox
Get our newsletter for the best of ABC Everyday each week
Posted , updated